‘Bride Hard’ Review: Rebel Wilson and Anna Camp Endure a Shamefully Bad Marriage with Director Simon West

Women tin person everything but a characteristic successful head Simon West’s offensively bland work-life equilibrium comedy, “Bride Hard.” Rebel Wilson stars arsenic an American spy connected nan hunt for a azygous redeeming value successful Magenta Light Studios’ wedding party-turned-hostage negotiation. It’s been 13 years since Anna Camp collapsed retired pinch Wilson successful “Pitch Perfect,” and nan container agency success of that franchise made nan actresses’ reunion successful a caller movie inevitable. Still, they merit a amended lucifer than “Bride Hard.” 

The problems commencement pinch Shaina Steinberg’s misguided and shallow script. A ray imitation for “Bridesmaids” (which earns its punny relation pinch nan Bruce Willis action classic moreover less), Wilson and Camp’s latest film sets retired to answer, “Should these puerility besties enactment friends?” Instead, it collapses into an ad-laden sameness that is not only profoundly unfunny but recalls nan infamous “Game Night” question, “How tin that beryllium profitable for Frito Lay?” It will besides person plentifulness of group stepping retired of theaters to Google, “Is that nan wide shooter from Season 6 of ‘Grey’s Anatomy?'” And yes, it is. 

Before nan merchandise placement and astonishment Michael O’Neill performance, Betsy (Camp) is getting joined and having her bachelorette statement successful Paris. That’s nan dream for plentifulness of brides, but things are already tense betwixt Betsy and her maid of honor, Sam (Wilson). Absent and flaky acknowledgment to her woefully nondescript superintelligence work, Sam is introduced done a series that sees her juggling crippled points from “27 Dresses,” slapstick thumps akin to “Spy,” and Anna Chlumsky arsenic her aggravated type-A competitor. A chap bridesmaid and Betsy’s early sister-in-law, Virginia can’t hold to swoop successful and return complete erstwhile Sam screws up. 

(Left to right): Anna Chlumsky, Anna Camp, Gigi Zumbado, Rebel Wilson, Da’Vine Joy Randolph successful ‘Bride Hard’Courtesy Everett Collection

“If you show Betsy, you person to termination Betsy,” explains Sam’s friend from work, Nadine (Sherry Cola), aft nan disastrous mission/falling retired successful France. She’s only half-joking, but moreover nan supportive chemistry betwixt nan 2 colleagues seems for illustration a imaginable threat to Betsy. Rounding retired her bridal statement successful a lop-sided communicative structure, Da’Vine Joy Randolph and Gigi Zumbado are apt to beryllium remembered not by their characters’ names but arsenic Other Bridesmaid No. 1 and Other Bridesmaid No. 2.

Randolph has never met a domiciled she couldn’t crush, and nan Oscar victor gets successful immoderate good-enough moments arsenic Lydia by bouncing disconnected a sexy reverend. TV character Zumbado is instantly likable arsenic Zoe, a pregnant cutie whose bubbly power is reminiscent of Katharine McPhee’s capacity successful “The House Bunny.” Still, nan five-part bridal statement is unremarkable. Even connected nan day, dressed successful agleam reddish astir Camp arsenic their blazing-white center, “Bride Hard” paints its heavyweight formed inexplicably beige.

Celebrating successful Savannah, Georgia (yippee-ki-yay for taxation breaks!), nan happy mates hosts their wedding astatine an idyllic confederate estate. A torrent of floral prints and pastels shake hands nan now ex-maid of grant Sam, who moreover robbed of her handguns is giving “spy” by wearing each black. Soon, Betsy and her fiancé, Ryan (Sam Huntington), will some beryllium beneficiaries to nan Caldwell family’s immense whiskey fortune. But earlier nan bride and groom tin say, “I do,” shots ringing retired and Stephen Dorff arrives arsenic nan “Bride Hard” type of Hans Gruber. He and his henchmen are fresh to entity to Betsy and Ryan’s union, but they don’t cognize Sam is hiding thing up her half-sleeves too. 

(Left to right): Stephen Dorff and Justin Hartley successful ‘Bride Hard’Courtesy Everett Collection

Having directed “Con Air” and “The Expendables 2,” West is an action expert. Still, titles from nan 2006 “When a Stranger Calls” remake to last year’s “Old Guy” person fixed him an underwhelming reputation. He struggles pinch communicative arsenic overmuch arsenic ever here, getting mislaid successful a paint-by-numbers thought that moreover rendered sloppily should beryllium sharper. Watching Sam hit a man pinch curling irons earlier stabbing him pinch a barroom guidelines resembles something like nosy — but “Bride Hard” is ne'er funny. That kills nan temper faster than a bad toast, but moreover dormant connected arrival, this wedding feels for illustration torture. 

The character formerly known arsenic Fat Amy has a knack for amping up elemental comedic lines, but she can’t enactment her measurement retired of a book pinch zero functional jokes. One series includes a wink to movie noir that comes retired looking much for illustration a stroke, erstwhile Sam says, “You’re giving it up for illustration a bully whore connected nan broadside of nan highway.” For starters, it’s 2025 and you don’t prime up activity workers connected nan highway. (Street corners, maybe.) Worse still, nan statement makes Sam look for illustration an moreover bigger asshole than she already does successful an matter that seems practically designed to time off Wilson opinionated astatine nan altar.

Released astatine nan highest of Pride Month to U.S. audiences facing a terrible taste valley, “Bride Hard” goes from shitty to infuriating erstwhile you see each that Wilson has been done successful nan intermezo industry. She sewage joined to manner designer Ramona Agruma past year, and Camp debuted her caller woman Jade Whipkey astatine nan film’s red-carpet premiere. Critiquing “Bride Hard” for its anti-feminism would beryllium a bigger discarded of clip than railing against nan woman “Ghostbusters,” but you person to deliberation these women would person made an all-around amended — and gayer! — movie if they were directing. 

Da’Vine Joy Randolph successful ‘Bride Hard’Courtesy Everett Collection

Even assuming nan champion intentions pinch “Bride Hard,” this abysmal pick-me of a movie cannot coming a cohesive reality. There’s a “My Neck, My Back” sing-along that falls flat, and nan presence of heartthrob Justin Hartley (“This Is Us”) goes from promising to achy erstwhile you admit conscionable really severely each this talent sewage fumbled. Outrageously shoddy typical effects dovetail pinch mortifying commercialized placement that makes each glossy framework look cheap.

The trading retired originates pinch a motion to Lay’s Potato Chips earlier nan movie plugs Sunchips arsenic well. “Bride Hard” besides features nan humiliating proposal that a fabulously rich | female would do her wedding time bridal constitution exclusively utilizing E.L.F. cosmetics. (No shadiness to nan budget-friendly brand; agelong whitethorn she conceal.)

Stories astir puerility friends struggling to enactment connected are empathetic by nature, but audiences retrieve movies for illustration “Superbad,” and moreover lesser titles for illustration “Tag,” for their characteristic and specificity. Moviegoers didn’t request a batch of clip watching Willis play an emotionally stunted operative successful “Die Hard” to understand why he’d bring down a high-rise for his estranged wife. And yet, a bloated first enactment can’t prevention Betsy and Sam from nan consciousness that their history isn’t special, and their enslaved doesn’t matter. 

Sure, there’s a saccharine location video series during nan opening credits, and bloopers astatine nan extremity to instrumentality you into reasoning you had a bully time. But moreover nan astir committed cinephiles should forgive anyone who averts their regard from Camp and Wilson’s disastrous misfire. It’s a matter of etiquette arsenic overmuch arsenic self-preservation — and logic capable for nan stars to divorcement from “Bride Hard” and return their “Pitch Perfect” statement location their talent won’t be, successful nan parlance of nan Barden Bellas, cut off.

Grade: D-

From Magenta Light Studios, “Bride Hard” is now successful theaters.

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